Monday, June 30, 2008

embarrassing fact #6

I am obsessed with fonts. When I was an intern last summer and my boss was clueless I had to design newsletters, logos, awards, and invitations to events armed with nothing but microsoft word and paint. The trick to making them look more expensive (I guess "less cheap" might actually be more appropriate) was to find the perfect font; sort of like a rich buttercream frosting on a better crocker box cake (kind of a bad example since those are delicious). Anyways, I have like a million on my computer and am always downloading more because every time I'm working on something it takes 10 to pick the best one I like and then I find 20 more that I grab "because they're awesome and maybe I'll use them in the future." Yesterday I sent in my resume for this job that I a) would be PERFECT for and b)I really really really want. It's mostly organizational stuff (raise your hand if you come home wasted from the bar and organize your bathroom because you can't sleep. just me?) but has potential for some small design work too so today I dusted off my portfolio. As I was working on a little example should they happen to call me up (please please please) I stumbled across Blue Vinyl, who has some really awesome fonts, many of which are free. I've been drooling over some of their for sale ones as well but only allow my habit to stay within the "no cost" zone. Anyways, if you need a cool font for something or are looking to acquire a really random addiction you must must must go check them out.
All images from Blue Vinyl Fonts.

color me pretty

Do any of you guys color your hair at home? Must of you seem like fairly respectable adults so I'm assuming you go to fabulous colorists who know whether you have warm or cool skintones or look good in mauve or brown lipstick. I, however, never dye my hair and when I wanted some sort of "summery highlighty things" could not justify the cost of said fabulous colorist since my current cash flow is...non-existent. So, instead I bought a box of L'oreal Couleur Experte (clearly the French language sells hair product) Multi-Tonal hair goo and forced my friend Jessica to douse it on my head. The kit is actually for doing an all over hair color and then adding highlights but I didn't want to change my base color so I just used the highlighting parts. It was pretty easy except the whole timing issue is kind of tricky since one you've finished streaking the first ones have been in for 15 minutes already. All in all, for $15 I think it looks pretty good (pardon my tres myspace photo, I am not so good with the photobooth application).
It's a little blonder than I think I would have originally pictured (see timing issues references above) but c'est la vie, it's summer who cares. What better time to be a blondie?

Friday, June 27, 2008

sometimes people say awkward things

This prime piece of awkwardness speaks for itself.
Also, why isn't Michelle Trachtenberg wearing any lipstick? She looks like the character she played on "House" once that had a heart transplant and then went into anaphylactic shock. I.e. not so good.

spooks

First of all, I can't believe I haven't posted about my new favorite television obsession, "MI-5," or "Spooks." It's a British tv show about the MI-5 counterintelligence and anti-terrorism bureau and it is AWESOME. It's like your favorite 24, or CSI, or whatever else you like, except way better because it's British and has Mr. Darcy from the new Pride and Prejudice. I would post about something more interesting but two dvds of it came from netflix this morning so I'm going to be pretty busy for the next four hours...Also, I went to amazon.com to get the above picture and what are the odds they're having a British TV & Movie sale? MI-5 isn't on there (lame), but if you have a hankering for "As Time Goes By" or James Bond movies, check it out here.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

if the shoe fits

The best part about going to visit my grandparent's in Virginia is Beaty's Shoes. Beaty's is this store in Johnson City (I think there's on in Kingsport too), Tennessee and it is my favorite store ever. It's sort of like a Marshall's or TJ Maxx for only shoes; they buy shoes that didn't sell at Saks, Neimans and the like and shoes that are used for catalogues, runways shows, etc. This means that you can get new or gently used Etienne Aigner, Cole Haan, BCBG, Stuart Weitzman, Michael Kors, etc. etc. shoes for between $10 and $30 a pair. Did I mention it was my favorite store in the whole world? This is the story of how I came to get five (count them, five) pairs of shoes for $120. 
Sorry this picture is so awkward, it was before I realized that taking pictures of your feet in shoes is really difficult. Nine West $9.99

That's right, I got the same pair of shoes in two different colors. And they're naturalizer. Before you start making blue-hair-and-skirted-bathing-suit jokes,  I LOVE naturalizer shoes. This is actually the second pair of shoes I have by them that I bought in two different colors because they are cute and SO comfortable. And they were $25 a pop.
Once again I apologize for my awkward photography skills (or lack thereof); the color of these is not so gross looking in real life. It's actually a really classic looking tan (i.e. will match everything I wear for the rest of my life, except maybe....nope, will match everything) AND they're Kors by Michael Kors so they're also really comfortable. $25.
Ah, the piece de resistance (sorry frenchies, I don't know how to do accents in blogger). I know they are sort of strange but they do that whole "make your feet like Dita von Teese" and the "poof" is SO delightful! The poof is actually a little clip on so you could take it off if you wanted to be less frou-frou (as if there is a world where I wouldn't want to be frou-frou).  Also, these are Tara Subkoff for Easy Spirit (did anyone else know she was doing that? I didn't) so once again: really comfortable (and $25). Apparently this is the backlash from a couple of years ago when I went on a high heel spree after discovering that I had grown out of that "I'm 5'10 and awkwardly tall in high heels and boys won't like me" phase and all the shoes I bought were beautiful but ridiculously painful. 

Anyways, THAT my friends is what I call a successful shopping trip.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

this is a horrible "just back from vacation" post but it's totally necessary

Um, this week's New York Magazine sex diary was written by a girl that is strongly Catholic and considering becoming a Jehovah's Witness. Her and her boyfriend are celibate and she says things like "I think his favorite thing is watching me wash dishes." HELLO! If I wanted to read a sex diary about people NOT doing it, I would write my own diary and reread the previous week every Monday. UNACCEPTABLE.

greetings from Virginia!

Hello blogosphere, I'm posting from my blackberry so sorry if the layout is totally out of whack. I've spent the last two days painting my grandmother's dining room because my uncle's insane ex-wife had previously painted the walls mint green with a faux-crown molding in forest green. Further, the popcorn ceiling was sponge painted forest green and she had painted these weird green squiggly lines that were supposed to be 'vines.'The woman had way too much time on her hands, watched way too much HGTV and Trading Spaces, and had way too much access to sponges, stencils, and wall glazes. She spent the five years she was married to my uncle sponging, stenciling, and faux finishing every surface in his house. Needless to say they are divorced now and my family has spent the past three years covering up her 'handywork.' Anyways, I'm leaving for home soon so I'll have a real post tomorrow!

Monday, June 23, 2008

before I go...

I must mention the new marc jacobs ads:
I think they're supposed to say "ooh look how risque we are, blurring gender lines and all." But to me this says "Now not only to stick thin female models look better in LBDs than you, but so do stick thin male models. SUCK ON THAT MIDDLE AMERICA!"

photo here.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

on the road again

Tomorrow morning (Monday), I'm going to Virginia to visit my grandparents; something I have avoided doing for like the past three years. Before you get all "oh my god you're a horrible person and I bet you don't even celebrate National Grandparent's Day," I love my grandparents they just happen to live in the mountains like six hours away from my house. The nearest little town has a public library, a Kmart, and approximately 1,000 antique stores. Not exactly the most exciting place to visit as a teenager. However, tomorrow I will make the pilgrimage, armed with six million glossy magazines and a case of Fuzes (the tangerine grapefruit is my life). I'm not taking my laptop so postings will be difficult, but I'll see if I can finagle some via blackberry but I'm warning you in advance that they will most likely say things like this "OH MY GOD I'M BEING SUFFOCATED BY DOILIES!" because I will be hiding from my family in one of the aforementioned dusty antique shops. I'll be back on Wednesday, see you then!

i wouldn't wear ___ but i would wear ___.

Okay, I am not exactly "fashionable," and I don't have great "style." Part of this is that I just don't have the style gene; I've never been one of those girls that goes "ooh I'll take this vintage dress and miu miu pumps and add some chunky wood bangles and ta da! the sartorialist wants to take my picture!" Plus, I'm pretty, well, preppy. My high school parking lot was full of BMWs, Mercedes, and a couple Jaguars and the halls were full of critter chinos, worn flannel button downs with puffy vests, and a whole lotta Lilly Pulitzer. As a result my wardrobe is made of oxford shirts, polos, pencil skirts and v-neck sweaters. I enjoy flipping through fashion magazines (I'm pretty sure Harpar's Bazaar thinks my house is a doctor's office; they've sent a complimentary issue every month for like ten years) and oohing and ahhing over the latest trends but I pretty much stick to the basics (you know us preps, we like to be able to wear hand-me-downs from our grandmothers), only occasionally latching onto things like skinny jeans by force from my friends. I get ridiculously excited by basic Stuart Weitzman pumps on sale but the uber trendy ombre patent leather mega clutch is just too much for me. ANYWAYS, let me get to the point before this post gets ridiculously long. Which is that when couture-craziness gets watered down to us wee mortals sometimes it turns out really well and sometimes it doesn't.

Which brings me to this BRAND NEW blog segment: I wouldn't wear ____, but I would wear ____! Today's case is that I wouldn't wear:
But I would wear:
Please excuse the hideousness of the above photo; I was actually too lazy to walk downstairs to get my camera so I used the built in one on my parent's desktop. And clearly I would wear that dress because that's me, in the Banana Republic dress that I got yesterday (on sale!). Pretty cute, no? I think the Balenciaga influence is pretty obvious but this version is way more wearable since I am not, in fact, a robot.

proof that you can sell pretty much anything

On Friday after my yoga class I went to Dick's Sporting Goods (whose website is not www.dicks.com, by the way) to get a yoga brick and strap. Where I take classes now don't have them out so I figured I might as well get my own anyways. Which meant laying down $14.99 for the following:
I used them during class today and really enjoyed them but as I was opening the package I thought, "did I really pay $15 for a foam block and a strap?" I'm pretty sure that I could have rummaged around my parent's house and found some sort of items that would have served this purpose free of charge. In the grand scheme of things it's not an expensive or totally unnecessary purchase but, man, I really need to work on the whole "reduce your consumption, go green," thing.

Friday, June 20, 2008

hello again!

I'm back from my two day internet hiatus and I must say it's lovely to see you dear blogosphere. You would think that taking two days off from mind-sucking-world-changing technology would you leave you this whole new refreshed person but...I feel about the same. And maybe a little antsy that I didn't do any job search stuff during those two days. I mean, don't get me wrong, I had a very enjoyable time away from the computer and did lots of old school things like: read a book (A REAL BOOK WITH PAGES AND INK), baked biscuits and gravy (eat your heart out healthy-vegan-types, the South will rise again if for no other reason than our badass food), tutored my brother in algebra (the kid is pretty lazy and has to take some sort of placement exam in the fall for high school), practiced the piano (so those 12 years of lessons wouldn't go completely down the drain), and did some sort of manic step aerobics class lead by the chirpiest woman I have EVER met. Basically, I did things that could have been done with the internet still in my life. BUT, it was nice to feel like even if I was wasting time, I was doing it in time honored, traditional ways. Although, I will say that my friend told me a J. Crew dress I like was on sale and not being able to go to the web site was torture. I almost got in my car and actually DROVE to the store....almost. Instead a baked cupcakes and embellished them with Martha Stewart style frosting swirls. So maybe being off the internet was worthwhile after all?

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

i think we should take a break...

Don't worry blogosphere, I'm not breaking up with you (NEVER would I do that). However, this afternoon, when I should be job hunting, I read this blog until Christmas: The Preppy Wedding. NOT GOOD. I'm one J. Crew bridesmaid's dress viewing from combusting into "I'm never going to get a job, and then I'll never move out of my parent's house, and then I'll never get married" tears. So what I'm saying is, I'm not allowing myself to open Safari/Firefox/Internet Explorer for a minimum of two days. I mean, it's impossible to not check my e-mail (as if the blackberry ever leaves my side anyways), but I really need to stop slutting around on the internet reading New York Magazine and every blog on the planet. Well, for two days at least. 

brief explanation followed by an open letter

My friend S are 10 days into a 30 day challenge where we go to the gym every day (her) or five times a week (me). Because I completely lack willpower when it comes to not being a fatty, I like to go to different classes everyday so I get variety. Plus I'm more likely to actually do all those crazy lunges and squats when I'm being screamed about by an instructor and the Pussycat Dolls are thumping in the background. This morning we went to a Triple Fit circuit class (5 min cardio, 4 min legs, 3 min arms) where you use a step to do the cardio portion. S got there before my friend  J (who was tagging along) and I did so she set up steps for us and get us weights, etc. What happened next is to be the subject of my open letter.

Dear Triple Fit Instructor:
I would never steal someone's aerobics step. I mean, that would be kind of weird, no? In fact, I'm a little appalled that when J and I showed up and stood behind our steps that S had placed for us, you yelled at us (via little earpiece microphone no less) to "get our own steps." After looking down at the ground and sort of pointing as if to show "uh...we have steps, right here?" You proceeded to yell again that we needed to get our own and not take steps someone else had set up already. WHAT KIND OF PERSON STEALS STEP AEROBICS SET UPS? I mean, come on, did we look that sneaky? Maybe your beta blockers hadn't kicked in yet, since you spent the rest of the class maniacally screaming for no real reason (I mean, more so than most aerobics instructors). Anyways, I really hope you figure that out because I'd like to do this class again. I really think I can get the "left foot on the step, right foot on the step, kick, jump down, arm jab, kick back, jump on the step, kick to the right, jumping jack" combination the next time around!
Kisses,
Hannah

Sunday, June 15, 2008

hm...


I keep seeing this dress at J. Crew and thinking "oh no, I do not like that," but I'm not sure whether my dislike is justifiable. I mean, there's something sort of off about it right? First of all, I am not a fan of the color "resort purple," especially in taffeta. And I think in order for it to look good you'd literally have to be the shape of that mannequin, i.e. sort of flat chested (but not completely flat chested, sort of a like a smushed A cup or something) and with absolutely no armpit/side-boob fat. Basically what I'm saying is, if I get invited to a wedding and these are the bridesmaids dresses, I will spend the entire ceremony with my nose half scrunched going "what is it about that shiny taffeta fabric that is just not working for me?"

Saturday, June 14, 2008

say what?

Okay, this post is totally seasonally-inappropriate but after scrolling through Anthropologie's online sale section I really need to point out the following: The footwear below is referred to as "Woodsman Shooties."
A shootie as in some sort of shoebootie, mix? Isn't the term "bootie" already a modification of boot? And aren't all boots, technically shoes anyways? So isn't calling this a "shootie," essentially the same thing as calling a square a "rectquare?" I'M SO CONFUSED. Fortunately, Anthropologie steps in and describes them in the following manner; "Dappled faux fur brings outdoorsy refinement to these slip-ons, crafted from whisky brown leather into a low-profile silhouette." I'm sorry, does the styling staff of this retailer believe that we are all in the midst of a rendition of Into the Woods? We did that musical during my senior year of high school and I'm pretty sure my friend was forced to wear a similar pair when playing the part of Little Red Riding Hood. Or maybe it was my friend who played The Big Bad Wolf? The fact that I CAN'T REMEMBER is a pretty good sign that these shoes don't belong in real life. But if you disagree, and wear a size 6, 8.5, or 9 (and I hate that my size 7 brethren were suckered into buying these until they were sold out), please pick up a pair and let me know where you plan on wearing them and with what outfit so I can begin to understand why such a shootie exists. 

Friday, June 13, 2008

not all thursdays are created equal

I mean, sometimes you do really exciting things. And sometimes you do "wow I live in a small town things." Like go with your friend to get ice cream (the world's best; Graeters) then meander the nail polish aisle at Rite-Aid until you stumble upon the following AMAZING product:
That's right. Hardcore fake nails. For the punk rock girlie girl in all of us. Rage against the machine but look good doing it. And only $5 for two sets! No bourgeois capitalist pigs interfering with your counter-culture beauty routine. Just 100% FIERCENESS. 
We decided to put them on with the stick-on tabs instead of the glue (of course we bought them, you think I could just leave something like that on the shelf?) because if you'll look at the package above you'll see that the glue was made in "Japan/Indian/Thailand," whereas the stick-on tabs were made in the good ole U.S. of A. I mean, hello, these colors don't run. Also, the tabs come off with 10 minutes of soaking; who the hell knows how you get the glue off.
 THE FINAL PRODUCT! 
I personally think they look great. Edgy enough to let people know that I'll totally KICK THEIR ASS should they interfere with my take down of the man, but the pink rhinestone eyes are still girlie enough to attract the scream-o band frontman. Agree?

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

oh honey no/an open letter

Dear Mr. Mizrahi:
Are you for real? Do you REALLY think readers of New York Magazine are that stupid? I mean I am personally offended that you would actually expect me to believe that ridiculousness that just came out of your mouth via text blurb. REALLY FAST METABOLISMS? How about ability to run REALLY FAST in Louboutins to purge anything that goes near their mouth in order to counteract METABOLISMS they've destroyed by fasting so their talent agents will send them on castings? I mean, puh-lease, we all know models are too skinny. If you, as a member of the fashion industry, don't care/don't want to do anything about it that's fine; just keep your mouth shut.
XOXO,
Hannah

Monday, June 9, 2008

how does everyone feel about

gladiator sandals? I'm really on the fence about this one. I've seen a couple people walking around in them who look very cute but I've seen others who have a bad case of "phantom cankle" as a result. Generally the people who I have thought looked cute in them have been very tan. Do you have to have stepped of a Greek isle to look good in them? Because if I resemble anything Grecian it is the goddess worshipping nun who stays in a temple all day (i.e. pale as a sheet). But moving on, these are a couple samples that I've plucked from Macys.com and my take on them:

I think this is a gladiator sandal that could potentially work on me. There aren't too many straps, they're pretty thin, and the t-strap design could prevent fatty-ankle-syndrome. Unfortunately they're Corso Como and $140, just a wee bit out of my price range (like, um, double actually).
The orange color is kind of loud but I feel like if you are really tan and have skinny little legs these could look cute, and I think they also come in brown or some sort of metallic (Nine West).

There is this bar in Montreal called Cock and Bull that every monday night has "crafts night." Basically the bar provides cheap art supplies and everyone makes ridiculous water colors (see some of Leah's work here) or macrame or whatever. Anyways, I'm pretty sure that if I was given friendship bracelet string, a tube of tiny multicolored beads, and a pitcher of beer, I would create a sandal like the one picture above. (Steve Madden)

After I had sobered up from my crafts session spent creating the above sandal I would be really jealous of the girl that gingerly sipped her beer and made the one above. The colors aren't overly loud and I think these would be really cute with knee length shorts or a tank dress. (Nine West). 

Okay, like ten years ago sandals that looked kind of like these but with much fatter straps were in style for the under 15 set. I had a pair of knockoffs from target or something and thought I was SO COOL. These are just as unfortunate; even though they have as many straps as the orange ones above, the muti-weaving or whatever in the middle makes them look too busy. 
HOLY CANKLE. That is all. 

lame

Ugh. Today's nymag.com Sex Diary was the worst. The writer is someone who has moved to New York and isn't getting any, is unemployed, and hits on girls in his improv class. Lame. 

Saturday, June 7, 2008

work work work it out

Holy. Shit. This morning I had a work out with a personal trainer and it literally kicked my ass; I still can't go down stairs without my legs buckling. Before you get all "um, you just graduated college, aren't you like, poor?" let me tell you that I just joined a gym (100 degree weather does not bode well for running outside after 6am and, like I said, I just got out of college and 6am to me means bedtime) and you got a free personal trainer session when you joined. The workout we did was only like 20 minutes but my legs are way more sore then when I run for an hour. I'm thinking about actually signing up to work with the trainer once a week (they have good student deals so that it would only run me like $70 a month) because I was so impressed with my level of exhaustedness afterwards. Plus when I work out with others, like in a class setting, my type A personality comes out and I don't want to come across as whiny or a slacker so I work extra hard. And my trainer is a)not cute so I don't feel self conscious, b)made me actually do stuff but didn't yell or intimidate me c)told me I was only allowed to lose 3lbs. because my goal of 8 would make me too skinny (um, hello there new best friend). But I'm still not sure I feel comfortable ponying up that kind of cash so a meathead can make me do lunges and squats which we all know I can (but won't) do at home. Has anyone used a trainer before and is it worth it?

Friday, June 6, 2008

i know i shouldn't read this garbage but...part two


um, as opposed to those other fifteen year old girls that hate kissing boys? puh-lease. if they had had camera phones when i was fifteen, i'd be in serious shit.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

i know i shouldn't read this garbage but...

I try really hard not to read perezhilton. But once or twice every couple of weeks I get super bored sitting at my computer and shit happens. Tonight I was skimming over it and saw a post about Lily Allen getting really drunk at a party and her personal blog post about it after. Afterwards he commented that "it's probably for the best that she's not having a baby anytime soon!" Um...I have never been pregnant but I'm pretty sure that random male internet bloggers should not comment on whether I woman who has just miscarried is fit to be a mother. Sure she's been kind of out of control recently but I'm pretty sure that if I were in that situation I'd be doing the same thing but after spending six months in bed in the dark. I mean, say what you want about people in the spotlight needing to behave better than the average person because they chose to live under a microscope but I don't like that the media forgets that personal traumas have happened to people like a week after and immediately returns to trash talking. That's low, even for the gossip columns, right?

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

repeat

What is UP with all the chatter about SJP's premier dress being a repeat? I mean, COME ON. I understand why she'd be annoyed that the guy who fitted her blatantly lied about it being worn before, but I can't believe this is still in the gossip columns like a week later. She looked great, and it's not like two different people look the same in identical dresses anyways. So world, can we move on? Please?

telephone bills

I have been in cell phone limbo the past couple of days (okay, just one, but I'm really anxious), and it is driving me CRAZY. In doing my Canada-to-America crossover I was intent on getting a new phone pretty quickly, since I'll be sending out resumes and stuff. However, I forgot that in the south things move RIDICULOUSLY slowly. As in when my parents said they would approve a new line to go on their family plan and then didn't understand my frustration when it took them a whole day to pick up the phone and call cingular. Anyways, I was finally able to get a human on the phone at AT&T and after an hour of haggling am going to receive the following phone, FOR FREE:
HURRAY!

can you pay my bills?


Today I received a lovely e-mail from my alma mater informing me that I owed them $4.29. Um, I'm sorry, didn't I GRADUATE or something last Friday? What the frick could I possibly owe you for? Trapping me in the library for three years and forcing me to learn macroeconomics? That's HARSH dude, I mean really, HARSH.

Monday, June 2, 2008

strange

I'm sitting in my parent's house in Kentucky and for the first time don't want to be here. Well, that's a little harsh. It's not that I don't want to be in Kentucky it's just that I'd rather be in Montreal. Generally when I come back here it's for a week, maybe two, maybe even a whole summer, but this time it is for an indefinite amount of time. And while I normally spend finals pining for home and my comfortable bed and my mom doing my laundry, all I want right now is to be in my own apartment in a city full of french speakers and taking way too hard classes at my bureaucratic nightmare of a university. And I can't get that stupid "don't know what you've got 'till it's gone" song stuck in my head. Ugh, I didn't pave over paradise to put up a parking lot, I just accidentally passed all my classes and graduated, so doesn't this seem a bit harsh?